

"Shut up!" Abraham Lincoln yelled at the idiots then continued flustered, "Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure…."īutt-Head replied, "So other nations had to take pregnancy tests by pissing on a stick?"Ībraham Lincoln gets angry, but continues, ".We are met on a great battlefield of that war…."īeavis said, "Wait, isn't this a local mall?"īutt-Head replied, "No, you dweeb, it's a battlefield from the food court to the bookstore to Victoria's secret."Ībraham Lincoln speaks up, ignoring them, "We have come to dedicate a portion of that Victoria's secret….


and it was dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal…." "No way!" said Butt-Head as he looked at his buddy, "The Statue of Liberty gave birth to the United States of America? So does that mean George Washington impregnated her at Motel 6?"īeavis replied, "Heh heh, can anybody here say C-section?"Ībraham Lincoln shushed them, ". "Uh, where was I? Oh yeah, it was conceived in liberty…." "Yeah yeah," said Beavis, "Probably sucked ass, yeah yeah."Ībraham Lincoln continues as he keeps his eyes on the little hoodlums…. "What happened to the old one?" asked Butt-Head. ahem, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation…." sir, you are a God."īeavis chuckled, "Heh heh, presidential condoms rule, yeah yeah." they stop as they lose interest and look at the tall bearded freak on stage.Ībraham Lincoln stands on the platform and begins his famous speech, "“Four score and seven years ago…."īutt-Head laughed, "Whoa, I think he just said he scored 7 years ago with four…. The 16th President of the United States of America (not the real one) getting ready to do his famous speech in public in front of a huge crowd while two young punks racing a grocery buggy all around cause a distraction…. Gettysburg address reenactment at the local mall in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.
